We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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