Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
