but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
