I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
