using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
