I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
