I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
