she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
