sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
