I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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