what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
