marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
