Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I think I sprained my soul last night
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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