And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
