I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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