my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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