So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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