Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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