Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize