i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
