Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
