At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
