We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
