Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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