im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
