so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
