Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Randomize
