I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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