the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
