His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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