Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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