I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Only a mothe r could love this liver
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
