Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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