found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
