My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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