did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
