goodnight i made you a song goodbye
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Randomize
