I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize