I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
