um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
