If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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