you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
why is half of my head shaved?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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