he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
