Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
