Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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