I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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