a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
