Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
