operation harelip BJ is a go
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
