I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
