I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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