I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
