...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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