He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
two words: eviction party
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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