so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
