Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
