East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
