i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
