i was rollin on her like bob the builder
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
