People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize