Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I have aggressive nipples.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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