i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
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