Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
