Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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