Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
