please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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