Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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