i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So squirting runs in the family.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
