Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I look better un-naked...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
