You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
