Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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