What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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