I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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